Leaving a person causing harm
Take a look at everything on the “Living with a person doing harm” list for ideas that may still be helpful.
Research tells us that women are at increased risk while in the process of leaving an abusive relationship. Special care and consideration must be taken when leaving an abusive relationship.
Four places you could go if you leave your home.
People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets. Help with childcare or transportation.
Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house at different time of the day - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
Putting together a bag of things you use every day. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.
Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house where they can go for help. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.
Contact your local battered women’s shelter and find out about laws and other resources available to you before you have to use them during a crisis.
Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made, if possible.
Acquire job skills or take courses at a community college as you can.
You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave
Review your safety plan often.
Items to Take If Possible:
Children (if it is safe),
MoneyKeys to car, house, work
Important papers for you and your children
Birth certificatesSocial security cards
School and medical records
Bankbooks, credit cards
Passports, green cards, work permits
Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
Income Tax Returns and pay stubs
PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)